Week 5:

This week the main topic was preparing for marriage. Even though I have already picked the person I want to spend the eternities with, these helpful hints apply to me. We talked about the importance of dating. Today the rage is "hanging out." We miss out on so many things, and conversations when we just "hang out" with groups of friends. The decision of marriage is hard enough, but without enough dating and getting to know each other, it could be even more difficult. 

The dating topic is also a very good reminder to me as someone who has been married for two years. My husband and I need to do a better job at keeping things fun and entertaining. Dating is something we need to do even after being married for fifty years. 

As I look back on my dating experience with my husband, I am grateful for the time we took to get to know each other in different situations, and seasons. I loved seeing how he interacting and treated his friends and family. Both of which were very important to me. 

Before jumping into the big commitment of marriage, be sure important topics and future plans are discussed. I also believe that it is vital you enjoy having fun together. Don't take things and life in general too seriously. 

I loved this quote by President Kimball. Our decision about marriage effects generations to come. Choose wisely.

“Marriage is perhaps the most vital of all the decisions and has the most far-reaching effects, for it has to do not only with immediate happiness, but eternal joy as well. It affects not only the two people involved, but their families and particularly their children and their children’s children down through the many generations.” (Spencer W. Kimball, 1976, Marriage and Divorce, 2) 

Week 4:

President Gordon B. Hinckley said, "In His grand design, when God first created man, He created duality of the sexes. The ennobling expression of that duality is found in marriage. One individual is complementary to the other. As Paul stated, 'Neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord' (1 Corinthians 11:11). There is no other arrangement that meets the divine purposes of the Almighty. Man and woman are His creations. Their duality is His design. Their complementary relationships and functions are fundamental to His purposes. One is incomplete without the other." 

I love this quote. I know that God created men and women so that together we can be one. This week we have learned about the differences between men and women. We know that men are more masculine, protective, task oriented, focused, and women are more gentle, verbal, loving and detail oriented (not all). I know that both sets of characteristics help us help each other. They are created to balance each other and to become one. It is Gods plan for us. 

The proclamation states, "By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners." 

I know it is true. I believe that these differences are essential to every family and their family system.

Week 3:

The lesson I enjoyed most this week was on social class and families. I found the discussion very interesting. We talked about the things that might define "upper class" such as, money, social perception and education. We discussed that most "upper class" families will more likely have a set of values, structure, very clear rules. The "lower class" has to work themselves up and usually don't have those same set of values because they aren't focused on those things. The "upper class" has some similarities with the family. A family provides us with structure for the children and adults. Families have expectations and hopes for each family member.

A different way of looking as social class: I would not say my family is "upper class" but I do believe my parents are upper "middle class."
I grew up in Utah until my senior year of high school then we moved to Idaho. My father is an attorney and the pay decrease was huge when we moved to Idaho. While living in Utah, my siblings and I were given everything. We were spoiled. Therefore, it made it difficult for me and my siblings to move and to transition into NOT getting everything we want.
After being married for two years and realizing that money and social class are not the most important things in life. I have realized that the best thing my parents ever did for us is move us to Idaho. It has made us realize money does not come easy, to not be so high maintenance and to appreciate everything in life. I am grateful my parents made this sacrifice even if it meant a sacrifice for themselves.

This really doesn't have a lot to do with the actual topic of "social class" but this is the thought that popped into my head during the class discussion.

Week 2:

In class we have been discussing and learning more about the four different theories within social sciences. The theory I prefer the most is the family systems theory. The definition from the book says "systems theory asserts that the intimate group must be analyzed as a whole; the group has boundaries that distinguish it from other groups. Thus, particular people form the system and have particular rules and roles that apply to their system. Furthermore, the group is composed of interrelated parts (individuals). That is, the parts are not independent but influence each other and work together in such a way that the system tends to be maintained; outside influences generally cause minimal change."

I continued to look online for an easier definition to understand and Dr. Murray Bowen said this, "a family is a system in which each member had a role to play and rules to respect. Members of the system are expected to respond to each other in a certain way according to their role, which is determined by relationship agreements. Within the boundaries of the system, patterns develop as certain family member's behavior is caused by and causes other family member's behaviors in predictable ways."

One assignment we had this week was to think of my "family rules" that were never actually discussed and displayed. One of the many rules I thought of was since I was the first/oldest child, I had a responsibility to maintain some peace between me and my siblings, help with the other kids, and help around the house. My parents never said specifically that these were my "jobs," it was just known. 

I think this example Dr. Murray Bowen gave is a perfect way of explaining this. "If a husband is depressive and cannot pull himself together, the wife may need to take up more responsibilities to pick up the slack. The change in roles may maintain the stability in the relationship, but it may also push the family towards a different equilibrium. This new equilibrium may lead to dysfunction as the wife may not be able to maintain this overachieving role over a long period of time."

The family is vital to the plan of happiness and I am learning how important it is to consciously think about my relationships within my own family. It is important to look at our own family systems and realize what we can improve on so that we can continue to strengthen our families.

Week 1:

I learned about several different topics this week but the lesson on myths and societal trends stuck out the most to me. I was a little surprised about one of the myths- "people marry because they love each other."  I assumed and felt like loving someone is a pretty big determiner in who you chose to marry. I know along with many other qualities and attributes, that really helped me decide to marry my husband.

The societal trends interested me because each one is on the rise and will affect my children and my children's kids. It's a scary thought to think of the world determining the way my kids chose to live their adult life and determining the way they conduct their life.

Premarital sex is on the rise and affecting all age children, and instead of marry, couples are chosing to cohabitate. It then increases the chance of having a child out of wed-lock and being a single mother. Then - If  people decide to marry, they are marrying later which leads to a chance of having fewer children. It's a horrible cycle and I want to do my best to help my children know what brings "real" happiness because the world is portraying a false sense of happiness.