This week I have been thinking a lot about stressors in my life, I feel like two events outweigh the rest. First, six years ago, I was traveling home from Lake Powell with my best friend and her family. We happened to decide to ride with her brother. My friend and I both fell asleep after a couple minutes on the road, when I woke up to us crumbled and sitting on the side of the road. We had been in a head on collision with a large motor home. After a long time in an ambulance, I was told both my friend and her brother had died. The pain and confusion was too much to handle. I was all alone because my family was back home and my friends parents were dealing with the death of two children. In this situation, I was feeling the stress of "why did I make it and she didn't?" and the stress a 16 year old feels as she is entering high school, without her best friend.
I cannot imagine the stress her parents were feeling with the loss of two children. After this class I feel like I have a better understanding of the impact stress (positive or negative) can have on a marriage. Des' parents decided to not let this situation negatively impact their marriage and they truly grew closer together.
The next biggest stressor in my life happened only a month or so ago. It was getting the news that my husband and I would have a tough time starting our family. As cliche as it sounds, the news hit me like a ton of bricks. I was devastated. Since this added stress is so new and fresh, I still find myself have moments of frustration and "freak outs." In the beginning, I wondered why we had to deal with this. I wondered what we had done to deserve this.
I have come to the realization that I just need to be happy with my situation. As hard as it is to not be jealous of others who are starting their families, I need to be happy for them too. I have now set a new goal to just "observe and describe" how I am feeling in a journal and to my husband instead of being so negative. I need to quit being so judgmental of myself and others and recognize untrue thoughts popping into my head.
"Each
of us will have our own Fridays -- those days when the universe itself
seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in
pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can
never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays. But I testify
to you in the name of the One who conquered death -- Sunday will come.
In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come. No matter our
desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come. In this life or the
next, Sunday will come."
-Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin
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